I get on the tube every single day because car life is a distant memory and let’s face it, I want a car but the not the responsibility (much like a lot of things in my life). Here are a few things I notice on my tube travels…
- Manspreaders – I already have thick thighs and you wanna spread yours so wide and for what purpose? If you need some breeze – wear a skirt! Zara have some lovely ones in at the moment.
- Reading over my newspaper – Did you not see The Metro piled high as you were walking into the station…? Is my newspaper communal? NO – Then please keep your eyes to yourself.
- Reading over my phone – This is where I start typing very crude WhatsApp messages to my friends in attempt to make the person reading over me feel very uncomfortable. Just leave me alone to play Candy Crush in peace – you’re throwing me off my groove!
- Clipping nails – Enough said. Don’t do it.
- People who think their bags deserve a seat – Does your bag have an Oystercard? Then move it before I sit on it (and you too).
- Backpacks and suitcases – I get it, you’re going on holiday (or just coming back), but please don’t knock me over with your backpack or let your suitcase roll down the carriage.
- People who can do their make up on public transport – I love watching people do their make up on the tube, it’s like a real life YouTube tutorial on a drab to fab everyday work look. In my eyes, if you can apply winged liner whilst on a rickety train, you deserve that raise.
- Body odour – If you have time to grab your £4 coffee from Starbucks in the morning, you have time to shower or at the very least put on some deodorant. The ideal personal space radius is already compromised on public transport, so having to inhale someone’s dank body odour at 8.23am is frankly sickening. I find that men (not all of y’all, chill) are the worst offenders, especially when one arm is in the air and you can see the darkened sweat circle of doom.
- The personal space radius – Along with bad body odour, I hate being so close to a smelly stranger that it becomes awkward if you don’t kiss. I guess it’s called a tube for a reason…
I guess if we didn’t have all these little quirks, life would be static and boring . What is the weirdest thing you’ve seen on public transport?