Musings: How To Stop Being A Flake

Before I continue this post, I must confess, I too have been a flake in the past and still can be. When I’m not feeling something, it’s really hard for me to convince myself to show up or respond to messages. I mean I’ve even written a post about my love for cancelled plans, so me writing this post could be a tad out of character and a bit hypocritical but us humans are allowed to change right…?

What is the act of being a flake or flaky you ask?

Thanks Urban Dictionary. 
Anyway, this year I’ve started off with the mantra of ‘Just get it done’ and I’ve also stopped being the one to make plans with people because I always seem to be the one making the effort. I get it, some people are planners and some aren’t but it’s annoying when you feel like everything is all on you? I’m letting the ‘Let’s do dinner’ come from someone else for once. I wonder how many will come to fruition?
It’s almost the end of January and I’ve been to the gym 4-5 times per week (only cancelled one session with my PT), drank a lot of water and made some travel plans for the rest of the year. I’m in the mindset of putting plans in motion to live my best life which mainly revolves around having peace of mind. Anyway, you’re probably thinking, how does this relate to one stop being a flake? Well, to put it simply, I don’t want to be mediocre anymore. I have to keep repeating to myself, ‘save your future self from working hard’. I really do want to retire at 40 (ambitious, I know), so doing things now is going to get me on my way. I have to stop being a flake to myself and other people, and here is how:


Consistency is the MAJOR KEY.

Do I need to write anymore on this point, I suppose so. I think the ones who get ahead in life are consistent because their driven by some desire, albeit passion, money or happiness. In this little blogosphere, I have tried to stay consistent with my content, my creativity and who I am. However sometimes a path of inconsistency could open up doors for you to find out what you like and don’t like so try it for a while!


Don’t ask, don’t get.
Sometimes we never know what opportunities are out there until we ask. Want that raise? Ask. Want that guy or girl’s number? Ask. We are in a world of entrepreneurs, people doing what they want of their own back all because they know how to use their talent and harness the talents of people around them. Whilst being persistent may not be in your nature, try it sometime but there is a fine line between being persistent and pestering; just don’t go down the spam route. Be honest, be you, don’t be afraid to take rejection.


  • Make plans and stick to them (this is funny considering I hate commitment, but that’s for another blog post).
  • If you are the one to cancel, set another date, apologise and move on.
  • Diary invites. Yes, I’ve become that person who now diary manages themselves, so sit down for the month and plan when you’re going to do things, whether it be social, professional or personal. This is a great way to be productive and really time manage yourself. Don’t feel like you need to go into great detail though, you don’t want to feel like your own PA (unless you’re really that busy).


Effort really is subjective. I was out with a group of friends the other week (we meet up quarterly or every other month) and we’re all busy so arranging a date in the first place is hard. We all were talking about future plans and even the effort of meeting up that evening was different for all of us. I’d just come from work so it wasn’t too bad at all (I love a mid-week mate date), but one had to ask her partner to babysit that evening, which obviously took some planning. If one of us had decided to cancel last-minute, it seems a bit disheartening as you never 100% really know what someone is going on in their personal life, if they needed that catch up or the effort they’d gone to be there. Seeing your friends or meeting up with them every now and then is a form of self-care… 
Whilst these points may help, the only one that can stop you being a flake is you. Your bed will always be there, so get out once in a while and get like Cardi B and make some schmoneeeey.

Char xo

  Gifs sourced from GIPHY, they do not belong to me.

8 thoughts on “Musings: How To Stop Being A Flake

  1. I really enjoyed how you broke this down logically. It really does that effort and commitment to not flake or be a flopartist as I like to say.


  2. 😀 I’m a flake. My brother texted me about a bbq at a friend’s place tomorrow, and I really don’t feel like going, so I’ve just ignored it. I feel so bad though, and that I should go.


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